Channel 4 Racing is at it again

This is getting ridiculous. Perhaps I'm missing something. I switched on the TV this afternoon to watch horseracing. Naturally, I turned to Channel 4, after all it is Channel 4 that is providing terrestrial coverage of the York Ebor Festival.

Why then, may I ask, is my enjoyment of a superb day of sport sullied by a five minute feature on flowers? I don't recall Gardener's World ever being interrupted by Alan Titchmarsh putting aside his azaleas to present a re-run of the Derby!

Note to Channel 4: your obsession with "bringing racing to a new audience" is laughable. People tune in because they want to see horseracing. Don't alienate those who love the sport.

Let's talk about faith

I hereby declare that I am a man of faith. I believe that Moses parted the Red Sea. I am throughly determined that the 5,000 were fed from a basket of bread and a few fishes. I even believe that Darren Bent can score 15 goals this season to propel Sunderland clear of a Premier League relegation scrap. But England to rescue the Ashes? Faithless pragmatism rules where that one is concerned.

Here's the way I see it. England needed at least 450 in their first innings to stand any chance of victory. Even then they would have been reliant upon the Aussies suffering some sort of batting collapse.

As it is, Strauss' boys (for boys they appear to be), were bowled out for 332. I reckon the Aussies will match that for the loss of four or five wickets. Flintoff is physically incapable of bowling at any sort of intensity over a prolonged period. Harmison is destined to put in an indifferent and largely ineffective display on the Oval pitch. Swann, meanwhile, would struggle to find bamboozling spin if he was riding the waltzer at the local fairground and Broad's form simply does not inspire confidence.

Expect plenty of galling antipodean gloating before the weekend is out. At least we have York.

Speaking of old Eboracum (that's the Roman name for York if you didn't know), I reckon Forgotten Voice is a ridiculously short-priced favourite at 2/1 in the 2.15pm. He is espcially short when you consider the price available for Dream Lodge. James Given's gelding defeated Forgotten Voice on the same terms over a mile at Doncaster and was a relatively unlucky fourth under top-weight in a 10-furlong handicap here on Tuesday. He is available at 20/1! I know which one I'd be looking at backing.

Mind you, I can't take my eyes off old Lord Admiral. This is not a great Group Three and Charles O'Brien's veteran is one of only two performers proven in Pattern company. The other is Russian Sage. He's a South African Derby winner but I'm always a touch wary of South African Group One form transferring to England. My concern is that there won't be enough pace on up front for Lord Admiral's trademark late rattle to the line but it's worth risking at 12/1.

As value seems to be the order of the day, what about the 9/1 available for last year's winner Borderlescott in the Nunthorpe Stakes at 3.25pm? Maybe I'm letting sentiment get in the way but surely he'll be in the first three. Kingsgate Native is obviously the horse to beat but another to consider is Art Connoisseur. He pulled like a train to the start of the July Cup at Newmarket last time. The race was over for him before he was loaded into the stalls and he can be forgiven that subsequent poor effort. He's a Group One winner and he's 16/1!

As I've said before, I'm not a tipster, so don't berate me for failing to pin my colours to one mast.

Oh, what the hell. Keep the faith - Borderlescott!

Bored on Thursday

It's raining at York. I know this because Channel 4 Racing showed a boy with a black plastic bin liner covering his head. I'm glad the director emphasized the point. It was evidently necessary. I mean, we couldn't tell it was raining, after all, his atmospheric shots of rain across the race track were totally obscured by, would you believe, inconvenient rain drops on the camera lens.

Tim Easterby trains a filly called Midnight Martini. She was anything but dry by the time she had sprinted the length of the home straight in the afternoon's first race. I doubt her owners will be dry by tonight, being as she just won them the best part of £150,000.

Neil Callan was far from dry either. You tend to get wet when you roll through sodden grass at speeds above 30mph, albeit at a rapid deceleration. Maybe Callan enjoys a roll in the long grass but this time it was definitely not by choice. None but a lunatic would choose to be pitched headlong from a galloping racehorse. His colleague, Ryan Moore, is the man he should thank. Moore was handed an eight-day ban by those adjudicators of such matters, the racecourse stewards.

There are two bankers at York today. One of them just won - a filly named Lady Of The Desert. Her mother was a champion. She could be too. I'm not a tipster (and I realise only I am going to read this anyway) so I have no qualms about retrospectively "tipping" winners.

The other apparent banker is Sariska. I'll be disappointed if she loses. Dar Re Mi is the only danger and she's a real threat. I won't be indulging. I never do.

I'm worried that the Yorkshire rain may actually also be south London rain. I would give a lot to see England beat the convicts at The Oval. I'm no fool though. I know it's a vain hope. But what is life if we can't cling to our dreams.

A swift perousal of the BBC website tells me that England are 149 for 2. That does not fill me with confidence. Captain Strauss just nicked one to the wicket keeper. He's gone for 55.

Back on Channel 4, the racing has been replaced by a re-run of The Clothes Show. No - wait, I stand corrected. It's that director again. Some Irish "fashion expert" is showing us all how to look our best at the races. It would be nice to see some horses but apparently we need to take the sport to a wider audience and the wider audience obviously wouldn't be interested in horses - obviously!

Tanoura interests me in the 4.05pm. She's likely to shorten up though. Snoqualmie Girl at 25/1 is one of those David Elsworth fillies who could one day win a nice race and everyone will be kicking themselves. Would anyone take the gamble today though?

Time to watch Sariska and Dar Re Mi go head-to-head.