It's raining at York. I know this because Channel 4 Racing showed a boy with a black plastic bin liner covering his head. I'm glad the director emphasized the point. It was evidently necessary. I mean, we couldn't tell it was raining, after all, his atmospheric shots of rain across the race track were totally obscured by, would you believe, inconvenient rain drops on the camera lens.
Tim Easterby trains a filly called Midnight Martini. She was anything but dry by the time she had sprinted the length of the home straight in the afternoon's first race. I doubt her owners will be dry by tonight, being as she just won them the best part of £150,000.
Neil Callan was far from dry either. You tend to get wet when you roll through sodden grass at speeds above 30mph, albeit at a rapid deceleration. Maybe Callan enjoys a roll in the long grass but this time it was definitely not by choice. None but a lunatic would choose to be pitched headlong from a galloping racehorse. His colleague, Ryan Moore, is the man he should thank. Moore was handed an eight-day ban by those adjudicators of such matters, the racecourse stewards.
There are two bankers at York today. One of them just won - a filly named Lady Of The Desert. Her mother was a champion. She could be too. I'm not a tipster (and I realise only I am going to read this anyway) so I have no qualms about retrospectively "tipping" winners.
The other apparent banker is Sariska. I'll be disappointed if she loses. Dar Re Mi is the only danger and she's a real threat. I won't be indulging. I never do.
I'm worried that the Yorkshire rain may actually also be south London rain. I would give a lot to see England beat the convicts at The Oval. I'm no fool though. I know it's a vain hope. But what is life if we can't cling to our dreams.
A swift perousal of the BBC website tells me that England are 149 for 2. That does not fill me with confidence. Captain Strauss just nicked one to the wicket keeper. He's gone for 55.
Back on Channel 4, the racing has been replaced by a re-run of The Clothes Show. No - wait, I stand corrected. It's that director again. Some Irish "fashion expert" is showing us all how to look our best at the races. It would be nice to see some horses but apparently we need to take the sport to a wider audience and the wider audience obviously wouldn't be interested in horses - obviously!
Tanoura interests me in the 4.05pm. She's likely to shorten up though. Snoqualmie Girl at 25/1 is one of those David Elsworth fillies who could one day win a nice race and everyone will be kicking themselves. Would anyone take the gamble today though?
Time to watch Sariska and Dar Re Mi go head-to-head.
Tim Easterby trains a filly called Midnight Martini. She was anything but dry by the time she had sprinted the length of the home straight in the afternoon's first race. I doubt her owners will be dry by tonight, being as she just won them the best part of £150,000.
Neil Callan was far from dry either. You tend to get wet when you roll through sodden grass at speeds above 30mph, albeit at a rapid deceleration. Maybe Callan enjoys a roll in the long grass but this time it was definitely not by choice. None but a lunatic would choose to be pitched headlong from a galloping racehorse. His colleague, Ryan Moore, is the man he should thank. Moore was handed an eight-day ban by those adjudicators of such matters, the racecourse stewards.
There are two bankers at York today. One of them just won - a filly named Lady Of The Desert. Her mother was a champion. She could be too. I'm not a tipster (and I realise only I am going to read this anyway) so I have no qualms about retrospectively "tipping" winners.
The other apparent banker is Sariska. I'll be disappointed if she loses. Dar Re Mi is the only danger and she's a real threat. I won't be indulging. I never do.
I'm worried that the Yorkshire rain may actually also be south London rain. I would give a lot to see England beat the convicts at The Oval. I'm no fool though. I know it's a vain hope. But what is life if we can't cling to our dreams.
A swift perousal of the BBC website tells me that England are 149 for 2. That does not fill me with confidence. Captain Strauss just nicked one to the wicket keeper. He's gone for 55.
Back on Channel 4, the racing has been replaced by a re-run of The Clothes Show. No - wait, I stand corrected. It's that director again. Some Irish "fashion expert" is showing us all how to look our best at the races. It would be nice to see some horses but apparently we need to take the sport to a wider audience and the wider audience obviously wouldn't be interested in horses - obviously!
Tanoura interests me in the 4.05pm. She's likely to shorten up though. Snoqualmie Girl at 25/1 is one of those David Elsworth fillies who could one day win a nice race and everyone will be kicking themselves. Would anyone take the gamble today though?
Time to watch Sariska and Dar Re Mi go head-to-head.
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